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Natural Mother Counselling

Adoption is created through loss’ (Silverstein, 1982)

Natural mothers lose the child to whom they are genetically connected to (possibly forever) and adoptees experience their first loss when separated from their natural mother.

Common themes natural mother's talk about in therapy.

  • Experience of being a Natural Mother in the 21st century

  • Loss & Grief

  • Feeling of shame and guilt

  • Dealing with feelings and emotions of extended family

  • Situation regarding Natural Father and his family

  • Anxieties related to tracing and reunion

  • Exchanging information

  • The emergence of powerful overwhelming emotions when in contact with the lost child

  • Handling contact with child and adoptive family

  • Anxieties stirred up post reunion

  • Understanding the adopted child at various stages from childhood to teenage years.

  • Explaining to partner/ further children 

  • Genetic Sexual Attraction in the context of Adoption

Irish mothers share their experience of adoption

Virgin Media Television published on Feb 11, 2013

Adoption Stories | A Flawless Films Production | Tressa and Tom & Breege

Tressa gave birth to her son in Dublin and gave him up for adoption before returning to her parents in London. When she tried to find him years later, she was told there was no record of the birth. Tom and Breege adopted Ketrin from Russia, returning a few years later to adopt Daniel. They are Irish children in everything but their birth certificates.

Natural mothers often were urged to forget their loss or made to feel that they do not deserve to feel their loss. Some natural mothers were sent to Mother and Baby Homes and had their child taken away from them against their will. Whatever the circumstances the loss of a child is a traumatic experience. 


Many natural mothers have never spoken about their experiences because they were made to believe that they do not deserve empathy and understanding. Often very young at the time of relinquishment they were left to their own devices to deal with unbearable feelings of loss and grief. Falling pregnant before marriage was considered a disgrace in Ireland decades ago and young unmarried mothers were made to feel guilty and ashamed about being pregnant. Sometimes they could not even tell family members and went abroad to have their baby in secret. 


Powerful emotions, invasive thoughts and memories can be evoked at different times in a natural mother's life. In particular during tracing, accessing records, contact and reunion.


Ines provides Adoption Sensitive Counselling & Psychotherapy. Therapy can help you to start talking about your experiences, emotions, thoughts  or anxieties related to the adoption, tracing and reunion.


A therapy session is 50 minutes long. The fee is 80 Euros (incl. VAT).  Sliding Scale

Video Call therapy sessions are 75 Euros (inlcl. Vat) from April 2020.

Payment is made via the SumUp invoice system.

Birthmother, Natural Mother, Loss, Counselling

Please ask me any question you may have about counselling or make an appointment.

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